


To Be Alone With You

by vmpiremoney



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Moony probably is too, Post-Hogwarts, Sirius is drunk, first wizarding war, i love these two, slowdancing, very drunk, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 18:52:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17188457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vmpiremoney/pseuds/vmpiremoney
Summary: 'Pour the vodka, and it dulls sharp knives'-In which Sirius has had more then enough to drink, and demands a dance with his most significant other. Takes place in that happy period after Hogwarts but before the true trials of the war were really felt.





	To Be Alone With You

**Author's Note:**

> i've been on a hp binge, and this pairing is truly wonderful, and the fan community has produced some wonderful works for these two. i have yet to see a slowdance fic done in the way i liked so i took it upon myself to just write my own. i tried to make it as canon/realistic to the time as possible, hopefully i succeeded! sirius is a sappy drunk, and that is most positively canon. change my mind ;)
> 
> the title comes from a Sufjan Stevans song. it suits this pairing beautifully, i highly recommend it!
> 
> the quote in the description was taken from a verse of 'Fairweather Friend' by the always lovely Vanessa Carlton. the song is about someone who cheats on their partner, so it doesnt fit the pairing, but the line did and alas it ended up here. another wonderful song i highly recommend!

~

“I’m tired...” Sirius said, sprawling himself out against the wooden front door of their humble abode. It was the last thing that belonged to the Blacks that Sirius had claimed before ridding himself of their association, the once finely kept wood floors now slowly chipping. But it was home. 

“Who’s fault is that but your own. No one dared you to drain the last few drops of our fire whiskey.” 

Sirius laughed, a giggle of sorts that was layered with intoxication and sleepiness. He cast a glance over at his partner, his dark hair sticking up from its finely combed ponytail from the evening previous. James had just gotten married. Sirius, his loyal best man, had supplied the booze, turning a small ceremony into a celebration that no one asked for. The beaming bride was not amused, but everyone had a splendid time. Sirius a little too splendid, per usual when alcohol was involved. 

The remaining sliver of moonlight shone through the open curtains, casting a thin white glow across the worn wooden floors. Remus reached into his pocket and pulled out his wand, long and skinny, and directed it at a tall footed lamp in the corner. It shot on, bathing the room in warm light. Sirius’s chiseled face appeared in the darkness, with cheeks rosy and eyes drooping slightly. He was still wearing his suit from earlier, though his bowtie was slightly eskew and his shirt untucked, some of the buttons undone at the very bottom of the fraying hem. Clumsily, he made his way to the old table, a Black family heirloom now charred with the remnants of spilled drinks, misdirected spells, and Remus’s failed attempts at muggle cooking. 

Remus sat down across the table from him, a glass of water in hand. His cheeks were certainly redder than usual, though definitely not as red as Padfoot’s, who was now steadying himself on one of the rickety kitchen chairs, still laughing. 

“That was fun…” he trailed off, smiling like an fool and sitting down. “I love parties…. I love…”

A silence fell. Remus snickered into his glass.

“Love.” he finished, with an air of consensus, like a child who just finished a jigsaw puzzle “I love love.”

“That’s a wonderful revelation you had there Sirius.” Remus said, holding back a laugh. The alcohol had more of an effect on himself then he first thought. He took another sip of water to hide his amusement. 

Sirius’s now decreasing attention span had been focused on his hair, which had become a large frizzy knot atop his head. He jammed his fingers into it incoherently, tugging at the rubber bands he’d conjured up to keep it in place. Remus watched him struggle for a bit, his snickers soon evolving into cackles.

“Shuddup Moony…” he muttered, in an as menacing voice as he could muster under the circumstance. Remus got up. He too was now smiling like an idiot.

“Would you like some help with that?” he asked, walking around the table and slowly pulling his hands away from the tangled mess on his head. 

Before Sirius could muster up a tipsy response, Remus’s thin and paling hands weaved their way in and out of his mangled black curls. He had found the rubber band to which everything was attached and began to stretch it free, Sirius wincing slightly from discomfort. It snapped, catapulting itself to the floor, his friend’s mess of a mane tumbling down his neck and framing his face. With a few more strokes and a small whirl of his wand the tangles had been removed, Sirius now smiling at him as if he was the most brilliant star in the sky above. 

“I could kiss you Remus…” he said, standing up and tottering slightly. “I could… ravish you…”  
A sultry grin now plastered across his face, exaggerated because of the liquor. Sirius stood up to face him, slowing pushing him back towards the couch. He ran a hand along Remus’s cheek, blood pulsing through his body, bringing his face closer. His breath was laced with the evening’s events, smelling of stale cigarettes and whisky, tongue poking from between his teeth in a most promiscuous manner. Sweat rolled down Remus’s back like wax from a candle, pressing into the threadbare backing of their blue lounge chair. He took Sirius’s hand in his own, his demeanor now concerned. 

“Not now Sirius, not tonight. You’re tired and you definitely aren’t thinking straight. Let’s just go to bed.” he said, hurriedly.

A look of mocking scorn crossed his face, still pressing ever closer. “No Moon-y…” he trailed on.

“Sirius-”

“I want to love someone Moony. Why does James get to have all the fun, huh? I want to dance with someone like that. That’s what I want…” His hands journeyed down across his neck and along his shoulder blades, working themselves underneath the deep blue fabric of his dress robes, sliding them off as if it was some sort of invitation for more to come. Remus caught them before they hit the floor, slinging them over the arm of the chair.

“Dance with me Moony…”

“No.” he placed Sirius’s hand back at his side and away from his now very red face. “It’s late, and besides... you know I don’t dance...”

“You didn’t dance with me tonight… on our wedding night…” 

“It wasn’t our wedding, and you know why we couldn’t dance Pads… we don’t know how people would react.” 

Sirius pulled him closer, curling up and resting his head in the small space between his chin and shoulder. “It might as well be… we might never…” he trailed off 

It was silent for a bit. Remus stood still - as still as he could with his drunk best friend attached to his shoulder - trying to steer their conversation away from that of the existential and bleak. 

“Marry me Moony.”

“Pads that’s not-”

C’mon, just one dance… for me?”

He pulled his head up, staring at him with that same stupid smile, his eyes glazed over with complete infatuation. Remus took this opportunity to break away, to lead him towards their shared bedroom to sleep off whatever had gone down in the past five hours. But Sirius had other plans, as he pulled his wand from his pocket and sloppily pointed it at a shelf in the corner of the living room. 

“Accio” he murmured

From the shelf flew an old muggle record, something of which Sirius had taken to collecting for the novelty of it. Magical versions of these items existed, but Sirius had bypassed them in favor of a more non-conventional method, presumably an act of defiance against his estranged family. He caught it, and wobbled over to the small muggle turntable, fumbling with the needle. Remus came over - attempting to remove the fragile thing from his hands - but Sirius persisted, and soon a light tune echoed throughout the small room. 

“Pads, please-” 

“It’s too late!” he smiled drunkenly “I’ve got you now…”

Now back in the center of the room, Sirius aggressively tugged him forward, bringing Remus’s right hand around his waist, leaving it to rest in the small of his back. His thin fingers intertwined with the other’s worn and nimble ones, their elbows cocked at an angle and hunched in close to their sides. Around them the music hummed, their bodies now adjoining. Sirius nestled his head in the crook of his partner’s neck, his eyelashes fluttering against the thin fabric of his dress shirt. 

Remus had since given into Sirius’s drunken pleas. They swayed slowly back and forth, out of time with the music due to both Remus’s inability to lead and Sirius being so far gone to do anything about it. He could hear the crickets chiming outside, feel Sirius’s breath slow as he closed his eyes under Moony’s touch. In another life, on another day, they could dance like this, in front of all the teary-eyed onlookers, their bodies draped in robes of creams and whites. They could lie down to sleep in the evenings without worrying if it would be the last time they would ever sleep beside each other again, so that they didn’t have to bottle up every feeling and savour it like it was some sort of rationed commodity. The burnt orange light cast a shadow over his lover’s face, and Remus drank it in like he would never love again. This was it. This was their ceremony, as close to a celebration of matrimony two men could get during wartime. And he didn’t know if it was the whiskey talking, but Remus didn’t mind one bit.

Haphazardly, Sirius left a kiss on his neck, his warm hands still grasping his own as if it were a lifeline. Remus looked down at him, smiling.

“I love you, Sirius. You do know that?” he said, quietly.

The other man snickered against his collarbone, pulling his lips up to his cheek and pressing them against it once more.

“What, do you think I’m stupid… or something?” he retorted playfully “Of course” he hiccuped “I love you… and you love me… we love-” another hiccup “each other.” 

With his inhibitions dimmed, Remus took Sirius’s face into his hands, leaning in and kissing him ever so sloppily. He could feel his last line of defense melting down. No matter the time or circumstance, Sirius was a damn good kisser, something that had captivated him since they were fifteen years old. Even three sheets to the wind, his lips still sent tremors through his body, despite them tasting like old tobacco and a bit too much to drink.

He pulled back, the look of pure desire still swimming in his eyes. 

“Did anyone tell you…” Sirius said, now fatigued and loopy “that you are one of God’s most… most beautiful creations Moony. Huh, did anyone ever tell you that?”

Remus chuckled but didn’t reply

He was content. Even though he constantly walked the tightrope of mortality, even if their ideal future wasn’t in the cards, Remus was content with getting drunk on small moments, moments that were the only reason to wake up and keep fighting. If this was their wedding night, then so be it, even if it was an intoxicated affair in a dim sitting area. As they fell into bed, Sirius snoring into his chest still wearing his dress robes, Remus knew that the only thing he needed was his presence, for him to be whole and well, to be truly alive. For that was what mattered in the end.


End file.
